I have to admit that I didn’t learn to study until I went to college, and boy, was that a rude awakening! Thankfully, we’re not talking about hitting the books in our newest RDI objective. Instead, our consultant wants to see and hear about Zip studying what to do. This goes along with him beginning to recognize patterns. I need to start noticing when he thinks about a situation where he is not sure what to do.
Since RDI is so much about teaching our kids flexibility, they must learn about “safe uncertainty.” My son tries to control most situations because he does not feel safe with uncertainty. He also does not like new toys much. It’s kinda frustrating and not very fun.
As we’re at the beginning stages of RDI, this objective will help me be more aware of him studying and also will get me thinking about “safe uncertainty,” where he does not feel pressured to perform and that I am there if he needs me. This goes back to the scaffolding idea from Barbara Rogoff’s book.
Most parents perform scaffolding with their children; they’re just not aware of it. They encourage their child to push their skills a little further, while providing those little bits of support that help their child to succeed while building their feeling of competence, that they did it themselves. No one scaffolds effectively all the time – sometimes we provide too much help (the child does not feel that they did it) or not enough support (the child can get overwhelmed or discouraged). It’s a delicate balance. RDI has taught me to be aware of this process and it informs my interactions with Zip.
Sometimes, I want to show him that he can do things, because he would usually rather that I do things for him, and it’s a natural impulse in raising your child. More often, I’m trying to foster a “we did it” interaction as the interactivity and coordination between him and me is most important right now.
I’m still grappling with this “Studying” objective. I’m not real sure how to create “safe uncertainty.” It may be time to visit our RDI Consultant and get some advanced coaching.